So this is the start of a project for me. A problem that I have identified many times.
I am just not happy enough.
I often find myself saying things like oh I should be happy, I have a husband, and kids, great friends, my health, a roof over my head, but god dammit, that's not enough.
My question is this.
What can I do to fix the infinite amount of worries or concerns I have about how my life is going.
I am 40 in October and I cant help wondering if this is it. Is this how I am to be for the rest of my days, slightly jealous of friends, somewhat annoyed and irritated with my husband, angry at my kids, endlessly writing to do lists, nagging and blaming and wishing my days would go quicker?
I want to be great, I want to be satisfied, I want to laugh at moments that require more patience than I have, I want to make a great salad, I want to walk more than take the car, I want to look back on my time with young children and smile fondly, I want more pegs in my peg bag, I need to chuck more stuff, I want to see if I can sing, I want to finish all those nagging jobs, I want to stop blaming others, I want to mend friendships, I want to stop rushing, I want to enjoy food, stop gossiping, acquire a new skill, tell more jokes, love my husband more, meditate, floss and exfoliate... and on and on and on...
But how?
I know what I want to do, I know how I want to be, but how do I get there.
Unfortunately I am yet to find an answer but I am blogging to watch how I find it out and in the meantime, let you, whoever you are, well no one right now, but maybe someone someday, be a part of that too.
Firstly to my blog design, safety in making things look pretty rather than actually tackling the hard stuff!
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